


Be careful what you wish for (because you just might get it)

by toadinspace



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Cunnilingus, Drugged Sex, Dubious Consent, F/M, Face-Fucking, Face-Sitting, Flashbacks, Friends With Benefits, Hisoka drives a lambo, Hisoka is a wingman, Hotel Sex, Mindbreak, Mindfuck, Multi, Nightmares, Non-Sexual Asphyxiation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, hisoka does not give a shit, illumi denies his feelings, illumi is deprived, illumi’s kinda an asshole lol, nen sex, non sexual degrading, thinking of illumi while fucking hisoka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29129220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toadinspace/pseuds/toadinspace
Summary: 18+ Hisoka/reader/Illumi love-sex triangle |CW mindbreak + dubcon |Red eyed Y/N of the late Kurta Clan—kept alive by Chrollo and the Phantom Troupe for the sole purpose of being Feitan’s puppy—deals with the trauma of her past by getting high and constantly shagging a murderous clown named Hisoka. Despite her physical affairs, though, her heart really belongs to a graceful, dark-haired assassin who wants absolutely nothing to do with her—at first.
Relationships: Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka (Hunter x Hunter)/Reader, Illumi Zoldyck/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Be careful what you wish for (because you just might get it)

“O-Oh f-fuck!” I stutter, my legs—bent against my torso and held tightly in place by Hisoka’s strong, pale hands—shaking. His sharp, pointy nails dig into my skin as his tongue works his magic between my thighs. His pink muscle—a part of Hisoka that seems to never tire—repeatedly pushes in and out of my hole, making gushing sounds as my juices squirt out onto his tongue. 

“A-Auh!” In an attempt to stop my orgasm, I try closing my legs, but my thighs clamp around his face, pushing his oral and nasal cavities deeper into my vagina. “Oh!” Hisoka releases a guttural moan, burying his face deeper into my slit. It seems the action has only encouraged him to eat my pussy out more, his face now smothered between my thighs. 

“B-Baby,” I whine, tugging on his now-messy pink hair. The only time I address him nicely is when we’re in the same bed. “I want you to come up here and fuck me now, p-please.” I whimper, extremely needy. 

He looks up at me, licking his wet lips. His face is wet and his makeup is smeared, his eyeliner running down his face. The usual star and teardrop painted on his cheeks are faded. 

“Ahhh...” He makes a pitiful noise as if he’s sympathizing with a wounded puppy, batting his damp eyelashes innocently. “But I wanted you to come in my warm mouth~”

My cheeks flush pink at his shameless tone, causing a wicked grin to appear on his face. “Stop playing around.” I say, squirming in embarrassment. 

Obliging, he climbs over me, his hands on either side of my face as he hovers over me. His yellow eyes stare into my red ones, and I shut them tightly, self conscious of their color. 

His nails dig into my thighs as he spreads them. I feel the tip of his penis slide into me, teasing my entrance. I wait for him to put it in completely, but he doesn’t, continuously teasing my hole and making me hiss as my body aches for release. “B-Baby..”

“Open your eyes.” His tone is playful, his command disguised as a plea. I do as he says, my eyes half lidded as I gaze at him through my golden lashes. As if keeping his promise, as soon as we make eye contact, he grins, shoving his cock into my hole to the hilt. 

I cover my mouth to keep from screaming, but Hisoka grabs them, pinning them to my sides. “Fuckkk.. let me hear your pathetic whimpers~” he giggles quietly in excitement and I whine out with each of his thrusts. As if out of habit, my eyes close again, but this time I’m hit with flashbacks from my past. 

_“Why would people pay so much money for your eyes anyway? They’re weird.” Feitan grunts in between thrusts, the usual scowl on his face as his hands tighten their grip on my thighs. “I-I dunno..” I cringe, whimpering from his rough treatment, drool running down the side of my mouth._

_“F-Fuck Feitan right there..” My vagina trembles and I dig my nails into Feitan’s back as I feel my orgasm get closer. “Pull my hair.”_

_“Eeeeeeh?” Feitan makes a noise of complaint, though he initially obliges, his fingers tangling themselves in my hair. “I thought you were a virgin.”_

_‘I am a virgin’ I think, but the feeling is too intense and too good to argue with him. Why hadn’t I done this sooner? I whine. “Just fuck the shit out of me Feitan..”_

My train of thought is broken when I feel something wet explode inside of me. Hisoka howls out dramatically as his sperm shoots deep into my pussy, thrusting like crazy into my poor, abused hole. 

It only took him a couple of minutes to release; Hisoka, as an overly excitable individual, usually comes fast—although his ability to go for multiple rounds makes up for it. 

The hot seed the magician released seems to hit a special part of my insides, and I feel my own orgasm approach suddenly. I grip onto Hisoka’s shoulders, my legs wrapping around his waist and my pelvis pressing against his, burying his meat deeper in my pussy. I curse out as I come, hearing him howl again as our juices mix. 

My body trembles and I see stars as I orgasm, and in that moment, when I experience the greatest pleasure, I see him. I envision his pale skin, his lean form, his gorgeous, long hair, his soulless dark eyes, his calm voice. I think his name even leaves my mouth, too, taking the form of a desperate, pleasured cry, but I climaxed so hard that I’m unsure. 

I pant hard, my eyes returning to their natural brown shade as Hisoka pulls his soft cock out of my tired hole, hauling himself off of me and rolling over in the bed. His body is sprawled out on the bedding as he holds his arms open in a giant teddy-bear embrace. “That was so exquisite~” He muses. “Now let’s cuddle..” 

I shake my head, declining his offer and staggering to my feet. My knees feel like jelly, almost giving in as I struggle to keep my balance, stalking over to the bathroom door. I can hear Hisoka laughing, covering his mouth as his shoulders bounce up and down almost comically.

“Did I fuck up your balance?” 

All of a sudden, he is standing next to me, his naked body pressed against mine and his lips hovering beside my ear, his hot breath blowing on my neck. “Can you not walk, little girl?” 

I try to push him away, but my knees are still weak and incapable of keeping my balance, so I end up using his strong shoulders as support in order to remain upright. 

Hisoka is very amused, his lips twisted upward in a cruel smirk. “I didn’t know I did that to you~” He blatantly lies, lifting me up and carrying me to the bath. I sit in the bathtub, pulling my knees to my chest, lost in my thoughts as Hisoka runs the bath water, pouring soap into the tub. 

He splashes around in the water for a bit before his hands press against my torso, rubbing soap on my body. His smooth, slender fingers lather the soap onto my frame, covering me in the scented bubbles. I’m too lost in my thoughts to notice what Hisoka is saying, only noticing how his lips move and how his golden eyes watch me closely as he cleans me up. I realize he awaits my response, so I mumble: “Is it?” and hum dismissively. 

Aside from his immaculate phallus and his godly tongue, the jester is a nuisance to have around. I press my face against my knees and try to enjoy Hisoka’s hands rubbing on me as he washes me. 

_I thought of him again._

My mind buzzes. 

_I orgasmed to him again—not only that—I also imagined waking up next to him the prior morning; I imagined his lean figure in place of the pillows that creased the blanket on my bed. When I cooked breakfast, I imagined preparing some for him, too, and when I left the house, I imagined his lips kissing me goodbye._

Even now, as Hisoka’s fingertips dance across my skin, I imagine his hands in place of the pinkette’s. 

_Am I still in love with him? Am I still in love with Silva’s son, the long haired, graceful assassin? Am I in love with Illumi, the heir of the Zoldyck family?_

As a teenager I would see him often; the Phantom Troupe, evidently, had close ties with the family of assassins, and being raised by them and dragged out on every meeting and job meant I would know the Zoldycks, too. It's not like we'd hang out directly, but I'd always keep my eye on him, even go on the occasional mission with him and his brothers. The last time I'd seen him was after I'd escaped, though, and just recently in fact; I'd hired Zeno to exterminate my mark after hurting my leg in battle, when I couldn't do the job myself. Illumi had been there, too. I'd initially believed I was over him, but seeing him again seemed to bring my affection back to life.

Before I know it, Hisoka has buried me in a mountain of bubbles, making me smell like a bubblegum factory; a _bungee gum_ factory. He grabs the detachable shower head to rinse me off, but instead, I grip onto his shoulders, pulling him into the large bath with me. 

“Your turn.” I smirk lightly, wanting to use his body in order to make myself feel even a little better, a ritual I partake in too often recently. 

“What a delightful treatment~!” Hisoka moans, a grin on his face as he lays back in the tub. I straddle him, feeling a small buzz of excitement bubble up in my stomach as Hisoka’s erection rubs against my vulva. 

“Are you hard again?..” I whisper sensually in his ear, pressing my breasts against his chest. Our nipples rub against each other, hardening, and we both shiver, Hisoka letting out a throaty moan when I lick and nibble on his ear. “..Already?” 

𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯

I take a cab back home; well, my temporary home. Like most hunters, I don’t have a permanent home; I travel the world, constantly finding places to rent or just staying in a hotel room. Unlike most hunters, though, I don’t live like this out of admiration for the lifestyle; I don’t have a choice. I am constantly on the run from the Phantom Troupe. 

The cab driver wears a large trench coat and has a spiky black haircut, almost giving me a heart attack. I open the car door with shaky hands, hopping in the back. “H-Hello.” I mumble. He nods his head in response, and I give him the address, staying silent for all of the ride. 

Once I get home, I pop a pill and go straight to bed, burying my head underneath the covers to shield my eyes from the shadows that enter through the window; the nightmares the gloomy outlines cause being a constant reminder that I am haunted by my past. 

𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯

“FUCK I’M CUMMING!” 

I sink my nails into Hisoka’s buttocks, feeling them clench as he pounds my hole like crazy. “I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum!” I exclaim, shutting my eyes tightly in pleasure. 

“Let me know when you’re there so I can burst inside you at the same time~” Hisoka mumbles sensually against my ear, his hot breath creating butterflies in my lower abdomen. 

“Fuck, Hisoka~” I emphasize his name, trying to convince myself it’s really him that’s fucking on top of me, but in reality, my brain fantasizes about a different man. In my fantasies, Hisoka’s pale biceps are slightly less muscular, his eyes are bigger and his smile is gloomier, his long, silky locks draping down his back.

In place of Hisoka Morrow, I imagine Illumi Zoldyck’s body on top of mine, holding my hands and fucking the shit out of me. The fantasy throws me into waves of orgasm and I end up squirting all over the pale cock that pounds me. 

𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔟𝔢 𝔠𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔴𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔣𝔬𝔯

“Come drink with me and a friend tonight.” 

“I don’t do friends.”

“Oh you two are getting along already~”

Hisoka grins at himself in the mirror sybaritically, his yellow eyes darting over at me for a second before he goes back to fixing his tie. 

‘It must be an important acquaintance if Hisoka is wearing a suit’ I think to myself, sitting on the edge of the bed. I only wear the robe the hotel provided, feeling underdressed compared to Hisoka. 

“What am I going to wear?” Hisoka grins again. “I’m glad you asked, I already prepared an outfit for you~” He spares me a venereal glance, his eyes roaming my body knowingly, and I wrap my robe tighter around myself, self conscious. 

Hisoka walks over to the closet, pulling a box out and approaching me on the bedside, placing it in my hands. Inside is a beautiful, rose gold dress accentuated by a double slit and countless sequins. There is also a matching hairpin and a pair of red, strappy heels inside. The only word I can find to describe the combination is _flashy._ Exorbitant, just like Hisoka’s taste.

“It’s beautiful..” I mumble awkwardly, wondering why Hisoka is doing this for me, or why he is going all out in the first place. He himself has his makeup freshly done, wearing an obviously expensive cobalt suit, matching Louboutins (with the signature red bottoms of course) and a red tie. How formal he’s dressed signifies that he must be meeting someone very important; but then why would he need to take me along? 

“Put it on, or I’ll have to do it for you~” He threatens, licking his lips and letting out a chuckle. I grin at him and bite mine in return, stalking over to the window and dropping my robe, ass naked and fully visible to the people below our skyscraper, in the city. 

Hisoka reacts immediately, kicking the robe aside and snaking his arms around my bare waist. “Are you sure you want to give the whole city a show~?” He places his chin on my shoulder, his lips whispering in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. His clothed crotch presses against my ass, his dick grinding against my hole. “H-Hisoka..” I let out a breathy whimper. 

_‘Illumi..’_ my mind nags. I try my best to ignore it, but thinking of him only makes me wetter. 

“F-Fuck me..” I close my eyes, biting my lip and shivering as Hisoka lifts me up by my thighs, pressing my naked body against the cold glass. The cold, hotel window causes my nipples to harden, and Hisoka wastes no time in pleasuring me, his long, slender fingers finding their way to my clit almost immediately, flicking it repeatedly. 

“A-Aahh!” I cry out at the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure, squirming, the feeling being too much for me to take. Hisoka’s other arm quickly wraps around my body, the veins on his hands contrasting as he locks me tightly in place. 

He continues flicking my pussy, and I can feel my clitoris swelling up, the pink tissue most likely turning red from Hisoka’s abuse. “P-Please stop!” I whine out weakly, crying out again as I earn a particularly hard flick. 

“You don’t mean that~” He announces, licking and kissing on my neck as his—still clothed—cock rubs against my asshole. Though the action is extremely humiliating, I feel my orgasm coming on just from getting my holes degraded. 

“I-I’m s-so close! Oh fuck!” I grip onto his thighs. “Please put your cock in me! Please!” My voice is a hoarse whisper. “Please fuck me! Please!” Everything is faded from my mind; the nightmares of the past, the events of the present, whatever comes in the future. I just have one goal in mind; to cum. “Please put your cock in me!” 

Through the glass, my eyes—blood red—meet Hisoka’s mischievous yellows, and with a huge, shit eating grin on his face, he drops me all of a sudden. I fall to my knees in front of him, my entire body shaking in convulsions as I calm down from my high, my eyes returning to their normal brown shade. My clit throbs painfully, and I can hear Hisoka giggle, adjusting his pants in order to calm his erection down a bit. “You asshole..” I pant, glaring at Hisoka. “You fucking clown.” “Aht aht.” Hisoka cuts me off, picking up the pair of heels he’s purchased. “Come get dressed..~ we don’t have time~” 

It’s no surprise that the pervert wants me to put the heels on first, butt naked and vulva twitching as he takes his sweet time wrapping the straps around my ankles. Next, he pulls the dress onto my body and brushes my hair, using the pins to style the locks in place. 

Lastly, Hisoka grabs his makeup collection and paints my lips a devilish shade of red, utilizing dark eyeliner to accentuate the color of my eyes. “If you get excited, they’ll match your lips~” He muses, giggling in my ear. “Yes, I’m sure that’d be very interesting.” I growl sardonically, and Hisoka only smiles, his pale hand locking around my wrist. “Let’s go.” 

Hisoka leads me out of the hotel room and into the elevator. The dim elevator lighting compliments his appearance, his muscles bulging underneath his deliciously tight suit. He doesn’t seem to notice my staring—or, knowing him, pretends not to—fidgeting with a deck of cards in his hands. The entire time, his expression radiates chaotic amusement. 

I follow him to the parking lot and to his car—a hot pink Lamborghini Urus—my thighs rubbing against each other as I walk, my entire pussy throbbing, feeling like I have an extra heartbeat between my legs. 

He drives, and out of spite, I sit in the back, covering my face to avoid the city shadows. “Be careful not to smear your makeup~” Hisoka muses, his voice carrying the usual carefree tone. 

We arrive in a matter of minutes—Unlike his appearance and his tendencies, Hisoka doesn’t actually drive like an insane clown—stopping in front of what is obviously a strip club, the logo being a purple bunny dancing on a pole. My cheeks flush pink, looking at Hisoka, who smiles knowingly at me, his eyes shimmering. He offers his bicep to me as we get out of the car, and I grip onto it, following him inside. 

Hisoka has a table reserved already and I sit, busying myself with a menu to avoid staring at the girls pole dancing and the wave of drunk people grinding on each other on the dance floor. “Excuse me for a moment~” Hisoka muses, and I assume he’s going to the bathroom by how fast he disappears. It only takes him a few minutes to come back. 

“Ah, Hisoka,” I stand up. “Can we order some of the fried cra— oh.” My sentence cuts off all of a sudden, my hands getting shaky and my blood running cold when I notice Hisoka has attracted company. “H-H-Hello.” I stutter, my limbs feeling cold and my face hot, my heart pounding like crazy. 

“Long time no see.” Next to Hisoka—who wears a smug, shit eating look on his face—stands the long haired, cold stared Illumi Zoldyck, a brown drink in his hand, wearing blue jeans and a designer shirt. Frozen, I muster up the sentence: “Y-You too,” 

“Illumi here will get you the fried crabs.” Hisoka wraps his arm around the shorter male, smiling a little too wide. “Ok.” Illumi nods blankly, grabbing the menu out of my hand and disappearing behind the drunken crowd. 

“Hisoka!” I hiss. By the way his lip quivers, I know he is trying really hard not to laugh. I grip onto his wrist, squeezing my nails into his skin in anger. “Why _him_ of all people?!” 

A knowing smile crosses his face. “You say his name every time we fuck.” 

At that, I feel my face grow hot, releasing my grip on his arm. “D-Do I really?” I wasn’t aware I said it out loud. “Teehee~ yes~” Hisoka confirms, though there isn’t bitterness on his tongue. Is Hisoka being my wingman...? 

“Is that why you invited him here? To set us up?” I question. Hisoka towers over me—at least 20 cm. taller than me—a grin on his face. “You should’ve at least told me in advance!” I whine. “Oh, but this is way more interesting for me~” Hisoka confirms that once again, even in a situation like this, his motives are only himself. Before I can respond, Illumi is back with a plate of fried crabs—the last thing I crave at the moment. “Here, (Y/N).” He says, causing my heart to flutter; he remembers my name. 

Hisoka stares at his phone for a second, a frown making its way onto his _stupid_ face, more specifically his _stupid_ eyebrows. “It looks like something came up,” He more than obviously bullshits. “I’ll have to leave you guys alone.” I open my mouth to complain, to say that he can’t just leave after inviting me out and that I’m leaving too, but no words leave my mouth. 

“As an apology, let me treat you to some drinks~” Hisoka disappears immediately, an awkward silence filling the air between Illumi and I until he returns. He hands Illumi a weirdly pigmented drink—something between a blue and a purple—and me what appears to be beer. Illumi downs his drink immediately, which causes Hisoka to smirk wide. “Bye, friends~” He says, leaving us. 

Not even a minute has passed after Hisoka exits through the door when I recieve a text from him. ‘Illumi’s drink was nen infused.’ It reads, causing me to almost choke on my drink. I sputter and cough loudly. ‘Have fun.’ 

‘What are the effects?!’ I text Hisoka. It takes him about an eternity to type his response: ‘That’s for me to know & for you to find out ⭐️ ;)💧’ I look over at Illumi, who fidgets with his empty cup, his eyes looking a little hazy. “I-Illumi?” I stutter, and he looks over at me. “H-How are you feeling?” 

“Fine.” He answers curtly, sitting down on a bench. I have a seat next to him awkwardly, crossing my legs. “Dancing isn’t really my forte.” He explains, ordering another round of drinks. He hands me a glass, clinking it with his, and we sip the pink champagne. I can feel the buzz in my throat leading to my head, making me feel lightheaded and content. “Not mine either..” I lie, sneaking a glance at him. 

Though a lot of time has passed, Illumi looks just like I remember him: lean figure, pale skin, big eyes, and voluminous, dark hair. He is still as stoic and as quiet as ever, his eyes scanning the crowd as if he is unsure why he’s here. I wonder if it’s the effects of the nen that keep him here, or what those effects even are in the first place. 

“D-Do you like fried crabs?” I stutter awkwardly, offering Illumi the cheap, plastic plate. He stares at the mutilated legs in what I distinguish as disgust, despite his ever-so-present pokerface. “I’m not entirely fond of them, but if you insist.” I don’t have much of an appetite left after Hisoka’s stunt, so I let Illumi take one before discarding the rest into a trash bin. 

“How is your family doing?” Illumi perks up at that, and I’m unsure if it’s due to the mention of his family or the buzz of alcohol the champagne offers. “Like always. Milluki plays his video games and Killua misbehaves.” 

I giggle at that. The drink gives me a boldness I wouldn’t otherwise have, and I cross my legs, leaning down slightly and pretending to adjust my shoe straps in order to give Illumi a nice view of my breasts. I know he takes the bait when I can feel his dark eyes boring into my cleavage. 

“Maybe we can find somewhere less crowded to talk further~” I suggest in a sultry tone, feeling ecstatic when the shadow of a bulge pokes between Illumi’s legs, causing him to shift in order to conceal his erection. 

Illumi stands abruptly, his dark eyes quickly scanning the crowd as if looking for a private place that could satisfy the two of us. "We could get a hotel room." He mumbles after a while. "Or we could just take this to the bathroom." I pant, lightly tugging on his sleeve. My eyes are hazy, this time not from the drink but rather from becoming sex-crazed; I’ve craved this moment for so long, I’m not going to let the opportunity go to waste. 

Illumi looks down at me for a moment, his big eyes seemingly peering into my soul. "We could do that." He says, leaning down, level with my face. His slender fingers cup my cheeks gently like he's about to kiss me. Despite his cold hands, the small gesture sends waves of heat throughout my body, my knees weak and panties wet already. I lean up and he leans down, pressing our lips together.

The kiss is soft but passionate—well, as much passion as Illumi can muster—his tongue pushed into my mouth, rubbing against mine as if he's testing the waters. I can taste the alcohol on his tongue and smell the expensive cologne on his person. Instinctively, I push my body against his, feeling his erection poke me already. The contact makes me squeal against his mouth in excitement. 

"I-Illumi.." I pant. "Let's go." His hand wraps around my wrist, squeezing a little too tightly. The way he manhandles me will definitely leave bruises but I am too love-drunk to care. He drags me past the crowd and to the bathroom with impatience. 

The dark haired male urges me inside the restroom, stepping in after me and locking the door behind us. I catch a glimpse of our reflections in the mirror, my heartbeat speeding up at the sight of us together, pounding so rapidly that I feel the red muscle just might jump out of my chest in happiness. 

_We look so compatible together._

“Illum—“

“Y/N.” He interrupts, his voice sending shivers up my spine. He steps closer to me, making me back up, my back placed against the cold wall. Illumi places his hands on either side of my head, trapping me in place and looking into my eyes—something he seems to enjoy doing a lot. His pale hands slowly creep towards my face again, his cold fingertips trailing down my neck and my shoulders before finally finding their place on my breasts. 

Despite the chilly assault from his icy hands and the cold wall, my body feels warm inside, excitement taking the form of heat in my body and burning me up, my arms and legs trembling as my mind struggles to catch a grip of reality. 

Just a couple hours ago, Hisoka was grinding his dick on my holes in some hotel, as usual. Somehow, my peculiar friendship with the peculiar clown had led to me being pressed against a bathroom wall, minutes away from having sex with my lifelong infatuation, Illumi Zoldyck. 

Illumi takes my left nipple between his index and middle fingers, squeezing and tugging on it lightly. I feel the pink bud harden underneath his touch, standing perk and erect due to the affection. My clit throbs pitifully between my legs, a reminder of how Hisoka edged me so mercilessly earlier. "I-Illumi.." I whimper, touch-starved. I tug on his arm, guiding his hand towards my vagina. "T-Touch me, please."

His lips curl into somewhat of a smirk, his expression smug as he lifts me up suddenly. He places me in the sink, my legs spread and slightly bent against my torso due to the lack of space in the white confinement. Illumi obliges to my request, lifting my dress up and exposing my soaked, purple panties. "My favorite color." He murmurs to himself, his thumb pressing into my slit, rubbing surprisingly skillful circles on my clitoris. 

In the dim lighting, Illumi looks gorgeous. His long, lustrous hair is tucked behind his ears, a focused expression on his handsome face. His clothes cling deliciously to his toned body. The veins in his hands are prominent as he moves them. His dark eyes roam my form, his gaze constantly switching between my eyes and my body, unsure of which one he takes pleasure in watching the most. 

"L-Lumi.." I whine, my cheeks heating up and my heart racing at the intimacy of the situation, at the vulnerability of my position. 'Illumi could murder me at any moment.' I tell myself, though somehow, the major gap in power turns me on. At this point I'm so horny and desperate for release that I wouldn't even mind if Illumi Zoldyck killed me, as long as he fucked me first.

“What do you want me to do to you?” He asks a painfully obvious question, and I would’ve snapped at him if it weren’t for the jolts of pleasure his touch sends throughout my body and the smug, dominant look he wears on his face. Instead, I settle for a whimper, writhing and squirming underneath his fingers.

“Touch me more.. play with me.. use me.” In the heat of the moment, I beg. A mistake. 

“You want me to use you?” A grin crosses his face, his fingers stopping abruptly. I mewl at the lack of contact, my cunt aching. “Use you for myself?” I nod my head furiously. “Do whatever you want, just fuck me, oh God..” Illumi’s grin widens, the light accentuating his perfect, white teeth. ‘Put those to good use and bite me..’ I think. “What’s in it for you?”

“Huh?” I blink, taken aback at the question. “I said, what’s in it for you?” He repeats, dragging out each syllable slowly, as if he is talking to a puppy. I don’t know what to say. “I don’t quite understa—“ 

“Are you really that dumb.” Illumi’s monotonous voice makes the question sound like a statement, and I wonder if he does that on purpose, to permanently engrave that word into my head. 

_Dumb... dumb... dumb..._

“Honestly, I don’t know.” I feel tears gather in the corners of my eyes, my throat feeling too tight for my liking. My insides feel hot again, except this time the burn isn’t pleasant, stemming from embarrassment rather than arousal. My breathing grows heavy and my heart feels funny. 

It seems Illumi takes notice of my discomfort because his hands reach out again, slender fingers making their way to cradle the back of my neck. Contrary to his words, his actions couldn’t get any gentler, the tips of his fingers soothingly rubbing the skin underneath them. I’ve craved his touch for so long, fantasized about his presence for so many nights that even the smallest amount of attention feels blissful to me. Illumi’s eyes meet mine again, his breathing growing rapid, as if he is really aroused. For some reason, he pays special attention to my eyes, I note, but I can’t quite figure out why. 

Illumi smiles and I mistake it for a magnanimous one. “I mean, just tell me what you want me to do for you,” I look away sheepishly, staring at the bathroom tiles as I mumble: “I want you to—no; I need you to—touch me.. I need to feel your hands all over me. I want you to kiss me and feel me and.. a-and” I stutter, trailing off. “Go on,” Illumi urges, gripping my chin and forcing me to look at him again. “G-Go down on me.” I blush deeply, wanting desperately to look away but Illumi’s grip locks my head in place. “I want to have sex with you, Illumi..” 

Illumi says nothing, his fingers silently working the straps off my dress, pulling it off and throwing it to the side, forgotten. I shiver, only in my drenched, purple panties now, seated in the tiny sink. “Illumi...” 

“Do you really think I’d put my dick in something like you?”

Huh? _Something?_ Did I mishear him? I look at him with wide eyes, my expression extremely confused. “W-What?” I sputter weakly. Illumi is good at roleplaying, well, at least I hope he’s roleplaying. I tell myself he’s roleplaying to normalize the situation, to find an excuse for his behavior. One of Illumi’s pale hands hovers past my breasts and onto my neck, wrapping around my throat. “You’re literally worthless.” 

I tremble underneath the contact and the weight of his harsh words. “I-I...” I stutter, trying to find the proper words to express myself. “I-I’m not—“

“Do you want to be useful to me?” He croons, his nails slowly digging into my neck. I pant, breathing becoming a difficult task for me. “I do.” 

Illumi’s harsh grip tightens around my throat, his fingers squeezing mercilessly, completely cutting off my airways. “I-I...llu...” I plead, my voice panicked. My hands wrap around his wrist in an attempt to pry him off of me. “Ahh.. there‘s that crimson color in your eyes.. I’ve been waiting to see it all night.” My eyes widen even more, the edges of my vision going black. So that’s why he kept looking into my eyes. 

Illumi had been gentle at first, pleasant. Captivating even, but his personality had switched so fast that it leaves me wondering if he is really like that behind closed doors or if he just enjoys his sex rough. He didn’t ask for consent, neither did we establish a safe word beforehand. I know Illumi comes from a lineage of assassins, but would he really take pleasure in killing me on the spot?

I squirm and thrash as much as possible, desperate to breathe again. The world is blurry to me by now, the bathroom slowly fading from my sight. I can just barely make out a smile on Illumi’s face, his cold eyes staring directly into mine. 

I can’t take it anymore, the lack of oxygen makes my lungs feel like they are on fire, the excruciating burn pulsating through my entire body. I give up. I stop struggling, my body limp, my vision going completely black. I collapse from the sink, and, falling face flat on the bathroom floor, I pass out.

Death from asphyxiation; I can already imagine Hisoka lining my grave with flowers, pretending to be kind of sad for a moment, but not really. I die. 

Except I don’t; my vision comes back slowly and I am able to get up on my knees, coughing and wheezing, my lungs burning once again at the sudden superlative yet at the same time painful rush of oxygen. 

I massage my aching neck, rubbing slow ovals into the bruised skin, still panting hard as I struggle to catch ahold of reality. My vision starts to gradually come back, and I look up to see Illumi towering over me. I open my mouth to say something but before I can, Illumi presses his lips against mine in a slow, sensual, passionate lip lock. My eyes widen in surprise, my face flushing red as I return the kiss, tilting my head to get a better access to his warm mouth. My mind buzzes with happiness, and this time, I willingly give him my oxygen. 

A purple aura appears around Illumi as he takes one of his nen infused pins out of his pants’ pocket, and, before I can comprehend what happens, he shoots it directly into my forehead, between my eyebrows. “Auuh...” I moan out in pain, my mind hazy. The pain is nothing compared to how loved I feel, though, and I forget the sensation immediately. 

_Illumi kissed me. Illumi Zoldyck kissed me!_

“You’re so good for me..” He praises, murmuring softly against my lips. His fingers gently pry my hands away from my neck, Illumi taking the task of massaging my bruised neck himself. It’s the least he can do after he almost killed me, but even then, his affection still has me through the roof. “Such a good little girl... maybe you can be a little useful.”

His touch is surprisingly gentle now, and just like before, it’s as if his personality has done a full 180. Except it hasn’t, and I figure it out quickly; it’s not that Illumi is bipolar, it’s just that he’s putting me in my place as a whore only here for his pleasure. I feel smart for figuring it out so fast, but as Illumi pats his hand against my cheek in a couple of light slaps, I‘m reminded just how much of a dumbslut I really am. 

What I’d expected to be a quick shag turns out to be much more, fulfilling Illumi’s needs more difficult than I’d initially bargained for. But it doesn’t matter how difficult it gets for me, in fact, nothing about me matters; the only important thing in this situation is Illumi’s satisfaction. 

Illumi gives me the treat of rubbing my neck, and in return I reach up, massaging and pumping his dick through his pants, my tongue hanging out of my mouth in thirst. Illumi sports the biggest boner in all of existence, his large cock throbbing through his pants. “That’s it, keep touching me, whore.” He coaxes, thrusting his pelvis close to me, his clothed, erect cock pushing up against my hand. I can smell his arousal through his pants, working me up even more. 

Illumi looks down at me, his expression satisfied. “Such a dumb, obedient little hole..” He murmurs, prodding my slit with two fingers. My pussy’s so wet that my panties bury inside of it, making squelching sounds as Illumi fingers my pussy through my panties. I whimper his name, my voice hoarse. “I-Illumi..~” My clit throbs in rhythm with my heartbeat, and Illumi notices just that. “You liked that, didn’t you?” He muses, his expression smug. “You enjoyed getting manhandled and choked.” 

“I-I’m s-s-sorry!” How selfish of me to indulge in my own desires. How despicably arrogant of me to enjoy it, to spew my own greed at him like that. I deserved to be choked like a filthy street whore. 

My thoughts are jumbled and all over the place as I still struggle to maintain a grip of reality. My brain buzzes, I can’t think, or rather, I don’t need to think; I’m just a hole, after all. Just a cumdump. My only concern should be Master Zoldyck’s pleasure. That’s right, I don’t need to think about anything; only the man standing over me. 

“How do you feel, Y/N?” I look up at my master who wears a smile on his handsome face. Such a kind smile, it makes me feel guilty. He shouldn’t sympathize with a filthy bitch like me. “Does it matter?” I croon, tilting my head back so I can see him better. Illumi grips my chin, holding me in place. He looks proud of me as he strokes my face, and I bask in it. “I’ve changed my mind, Y/N.” He announces. “I think you and I would be more compatible than I initially thought.” 

“Eh?!” My eyes light up in happiness and excitement, a huge smile appearing on my face. “A-Are we really?” Illumi smirks, too. “I think your pretty eyes are worth keeping around.” I lean further into his touch, desperate for his affection. “I’ll do anything for you, Illumi.” 

A growl erupts from within his throat, breaking his usually calm and apathetic demeanor. He grabs me by my hair this time, his erection pressed up against my face, his body’s scent invading my nose. I mewl. “Tell you what, Y/N...” he starts. “If you can take a good face fuck for me, I’ll carry you upstairs and reward you with my penis because then you would’ve really earned it.”

I practically squeal out in delight, wondering what I’d done to deserve such generous treatment. I bury my face against his crotch and kiss his length through his pants, my lipstick getting all over the fabric. I reach up to undo his belt, my hands shaking with excitement as I fidget with the strap. 

Illumi grows impatient fast as he watches me uselessly fondle the strap. He grips my hair, pulling me back belligerently and tugging his belt off himself. He wriggles out of his pants, which fall down to his ankles, pulling his boxers down and out of the way. My mouth hangs open as Illumi’s cock springs out, dumbfounded by how captivating and gorgeous it is. 

Illumi’s penis is slightly paler than his skin, though there is an irritated, red patch on it from being in the confinement of his pants for so long. His dick is longer and thicker than I’d imagined it, precum leaking out of its hole. Illumi’s definitely packing more meat than his jester friend, and I feel guilt for ever hooking up with the clown in the first place. Had I forgotten who I belong to?

“Here, let me help you out, slut, open your mouth.” “P-Please let me taste it!” Instead of opening my mouth, I pucker up, wanting to introduce myself to his penis with a hot, wet kiss first. Another mistake on my part, because Illumi’s spit ends up landing on my nose instead of my tongue, dripping down onto lips and my chin. Illumi’s expression is unreadable, his dark eyes glaring intensely down at me. “Oh. You’ve made such a mess.” “I—“ “Hush, don’t let it go to waste. Rub your nose on my cock.” 

My eyes are wide in shock and surprise as I stare up at his dick, standing proud and erect like a soldier saluting the fatherland. Swallowing quietly, I lean up and, like a cat, I nuzzle my face against his penis, spreading the saliva all over it. Illumi hums in encouragement, cupping my face and spitting on my face again, adding more lubricant. I squeal. “T-Thank you master,” Illumi hums in response again, this time spitting on the head of his cock. The liquid bounces off the tip and lands onto my face again, lathering me in his fluids, a bit of his precum leaking from his cock and onto my visage, adding to the mix. 

Illumi runs his fingers through my hair, his fingertips gripping onto my scalp affectionately, his firm grip locking my head in place. He bucks his hips up and humps his cock on my face, his ballsack slapping against my chin. I stick my tongue out to embrace his sack, massaging his balls with the warm muscle and lathering them up in my spit. Illumi groans, his eyes locking on mine as I peer up at him, smiling shyly and flicking my tongue against his balls. My eyes flash red in excitement and Illumi’s cock twitches in response. He spits on my face again, the liquid landing in my eyelashes this time, soaking my vision. I giggle, pushing my lips against his sack in a wet kiss. Illumi’s grip on my hair tightens, yanking my head away impatiently, his hand trembling lightly in pleasure. “It’s time for you to get started.” 

I’m face to face with his cock now. It seems he’s grown even bigger than before, leaking in front of my wet face and demanding attention. Illumi’s dick is intimidating; it could probably rip my throat. I’m definitely going to choke. Not that it matters, though; I’m only being used for his pleasure, after all. 

His cock is already wet, lubricated by the mix of precum and spit my face had lathered all over it. Regardless, I still spit on the tip again, my tongue lapping on Illumi's slit, causing him to shift slightly on his feet. 

"You can sit down." I offer, wrapping my lips around his cockhead. I can take a fifth of his length into my mouth before the tip hits my throat. I've long since lost my gag reflex but Illumi is thick, so girthy that my jaw aches when I keep my mouth open. Illumi gives me only a moment to adjust before he starts to relentlessly hump my throat, my trachea complaining audibly with the 'glug glug glug' sound that escapes it. 

One of Illumi's hands is wrapped in my hair and the other one grips the back of my neck, leaning my head back from my kneeling position to gain easier access to my esophagus, his knees bent slightly as he teabags my defenseless hole.

_Glug.. glug.. glug.. glug.. spit.. cough.. glug.._

_Glug.. glug.. cough.. glug.. choke.. glug.. choke!_

I feel the corners of my vision going black again, snot and tears running down my face when Illumi pulls me back by my hair abruptly, letting his dick and balls rest on my face again. I gasp for breath, figuring he'd regarded my desperate pleas for oxygen and finally stops to let me rest, but when he grips my hair harshly and rubs my face on his dick, mixing his precum with my tears, I realize it was just a display of power, to remind me of the sexual and emotional control he wields over me.

"M-Master Illu--" My voice is hoarse, barely audible due to my windpipes being tortured all night, both from the inside and out. Illumi wears a wide smile on his face, massaging the back of my neck in mock concern. Really, the action just triggers the soreness further, making me cough again. It doesn't stop Illumi from rubbing his cock on my face, gripping my jaw and leaking precum onto my eyelashes. I shut my eyes. 

"If you're dying," He starts, squeezing my jaw and coaxing his cock back into my mouth. "Just squeeze my knee." He assures, pushing my head back for better access again and moving my hand to hover over his leg. "And if you are dying.." He thrusts, his cock twitching in my throat, indicating that he's close. At least, I hope he's close. "..Then that's just a shame, my dumb little whore."

_Dumb.._

_glug.. glug.. glug.. glug.._

_Stupid.._

_glug.. glug.. glug.. glug.._

_Useless.._

_glug.. glug.. choke.. glug.._

_Cumwhore.._

_choke.. glug.. choke.. glug.._

_I wanna be Master Illumi's useful cumwhore!_

Illumi’s fist wraps tightly around my hair, gripping the tresses to hold me strictly in place as he has his way with my throat. His breathing becomes irregular and his thrusts grow more frantic, ignoring my cries and using my throat as he desperately tries to get off. His sweaty balls desperately slap and twitch against my lips, making me feel exhilarated and humiliated at the same time. 

After what seems like forever and my throat feels like it’s going to rip from the continuous impact, Illumi finally comes, a guttural growl escaping his throat as his orgasm shoots all over my battered shape in the form of thick, hot ribbons of sperm. I stick my tongue out, happily catching the drops like a kitten would a snowflake. 

There’s still hot sperm all over my bruised neck and tired breasts as we head out into the city. Illumi doesn’t even give me a chance to wash up; he just refastens my dress and lifts me into his arms, dragging me out of the club bathroom. It seems he’s staying in a nearby hotel because he has his destination in mind, quietly carrying me past the front desk and into the elevator. 

I stare at our reflection in the elevator mirror, my mind hazy from Master’s rough treatment. My hair is messy and my neck is turning a nasty shade of purple, the straps on my heels contorted, my dress barely holding my disorderly figure together. Illumi’s appearance is disheveled, too, but not as much as mine. His shirt is wrinkled and he’s a little out of breath, his captivating eyes closed as he awaits our arrival.

Master Illumi is gorgeous. I’m so lucky to serve him. 

After what seems like forever, the elevator doors finally open, revealing the corridor. Illumi’s room is right across from the elevator. He sets me down as he digs around in his pockets, finding his key card and unlocking the door. My legs shake and I almost fall as I attempt to walk, so Illumi picks me up again, lifting me up bridal style and setting me down on the bed. 

Illumi is quick to discard his shoes, kicking them aside and climbing onto the bed. He leaves my heels on though, and I lay back on the bed, my eyes hazy as I wait for Illumi to rearrange my guts, a stupid, happy smile on my face. 

Illumi fumbles with his belt for a moment, climbing out of his pants and crawling over me. My hands make their way to his figure, gripping onto his collar with shaky hands and pulling his shirt off. Illumi takes the article of clothing from me and tosses it aside, discarding it carelessly in the corner of the hotel room. He unzips my dress and tosses it aside, too, adding on to the pile of clothes. 

Illumi hovers over me again, his deep eyes gazing into mine with an emotion I can’t seem to decipher. I wrap my legs around his waist in order to pull him closer, my cold heels making contact with his skin, causing him to shiver. Illumi places a hand on either side of my head, his fingertips caressing my face with a gentleness I can only describe as foreign. In turn, I reach up to touch him, too, my fingers tracing the muscles along his abs and shoulders. 

As if testing the waters, Illumi prods my hole with the tip of his cock, and to his surprise, his dick slips into my warm pussy with ease, no foreplay required. Being teased by him all night has me riled up, and Illumi hums in delight at how wet I am for him. His soft lips press against the bruises on my neck, providing temporary relief for the throbbing pain that lingers in the area. His tongue rubs soothing circles on my neck, meanwhile his hips take care of the desperate ache bubbling within my core. 

“You don’t have the Phantom Troupe tattoo.” He murmurs against my ear, the vibrations of his fuck-drunk voice and the rythmic thrust of his hips sending stars throughout my vision. “I always assumed you had it.” Illumi is observant regardless of the circumstances. “I was— was— _oh!_ never really one of them..” I manage to gasp out between his thrusts, my nails unintentionally burying into the muscles of his back, drawing a bit of blood. Illumi doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, it seems to excite him even more. His hands travel hungrily from my face to my body, one of his hands gripping my breast and the other tightening around my hips, using my flesh as leverage to speed up his thrusts. 

His fingers hold onto my skin tightly, probably bruising me again but I don’t care; I can only focus on the delightful sensation of his lips on my neck and how magnificently _full_ my pussy feels when he pounds me with his cock. This time Illumi isn’t as starved and desperate as before, taking his time to bring out our orgasms. 

“I-Illumi..” I whine and gasp, feeling a familiar heat building up in my core. I move my hands to tenderly cup his face, my eyes gazing into his with simultaneous need and satisfaction. His dark eyes look back into my red ones, and I squeal at a particularly deep thrust of his hips. “K-Kiss me Illumi..” I plead, knowing I probably shouldn’t do so, but the exigency of having his lips on mine outweighs any rationality. His lips run along my neck as he adjusts his pace to my liking, his kisses trailing from my throat to my chin, his mouth resting against mine, our lips barely pressed against each other, but not really. 

Illumi murmurs something against my lips but I don’t quite catch it—a phrase that sounds like “make you my wife”—but I’m sure I just imagine it. 

Illumi’s thrusts grow faster, more desperate and frantic when I shove my tongue into his mouth, rubbing against his, the two of us sweating and panting from the heat of the moment. “L-Lumi, I’m— I’m gonna—“ Illumi shuts me up with another kiss, and this time his tongue pursues mine vehemently, as if allowing me permission to cum. 

I wrap my legs tighter around him, locking his fingers desperately in mine, our lips never daring to break the fervent kiss. I whine and whimper loudly, feeling the muscles that line my cunt pulsate as I fall into my overdue, yet still intensely consuming orgasm. 

My scream is muffled by Illumi’s mouth, my pussy trembling with the twitch of his cock buried crazy deep inside of me. A strained sound escapes Illumi’s lips, the warmth from my mouth and the wetness that hugs his cock becoming too much for him to bear, triggering his orgasm which shoots into my hole in spurts. The sensation triggers another hoarse scream from me, my vision going white, body spent from all the exercise. 

Illumi pants quietly, his cock going soft in my hole but he doesn’t bother to pull it out, staying buried inside of me. I squirm, uncomfortable, and he gets the hint, pulling out and rolling over, hauling himself off of me. 

I lay on my back, trying to come down from my high and catch my breath. My vision starts to return, my eyes no longer rolled to the back of my head. After a few minutes of basking in the post orgasm glory, I finally glance over at the man responsible for my fervid pleasure: Illumi. 

Illumi’s eyes are closed, his long hair disheveled and matted against his forehead. A soft grin crosses my face at the sight, and I reach out to tuck the strands aligning his forehead behind his ear. Illumi hums softly, seemingly enjoying the gentle affection, leaning into my touch. After a few moments he cracks an eye open. He blinks, his eyes no longer hazy, and I realize the nen has worn off. 

Illumi reaches up to his face and intertwining his fingers with mine, which still linger on his cheek. “Did you enjoy yourself?” He cajoles, and I smile wider, nodding my head. “I did, Lumi.” Illumi moves my hand off his face, and I reach out to touch his hair this time, assuming it’s acceptable but he grips my wrist, his large, ominous eyes glaring at me. With a tug on my seized limb, Illumi pulls me on top of him, forcing me to straddle his pale chest. 

“Did you think you could seduce me into marrying you?”

_“Huh?”_

“Did you think you and I would get married after we slept together?”

_..What?_

Though I’m on top of him, the position of power is just a piteous illusion. In fact, it is just a pathetic reminder of what I’ve allowed him to do to me; in this new position, Illumi’s seed seeps out of my pussy, and in turn, he coerces me into cupping my hand on my hole to keep the sperm from leaking out. Between his words and the action, I can’t decide which one is more humiliating. I feel my heart physically ache, tears threatening to fall as my throat tightens up, making it impossible for words to leave my mouth. For a moment, Illumi watches me silently before slipping out from underneath me, allowing me to collapse pitifully on the hotel sheets. 

He leaves the bed. I hear the sound of crumpled fabric, assuming Illumi fumbles with his clothes, putting them on but I don’t dare look; my face buried in the pillow, too ashamed to look up at him. He tosses the comforter over my body, covering my head, too, as if wanting to make me disappear from existence completely. 

“I have work to do.” Is the last thing I hear before the door quietly closes behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Head empty, just https://www.instagram.com/p/CGBPfnGFqpK/?igshid=1jpi9hu84x7pe


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